The Value of Free Play

NY Times Lanza Playborhood image

Have you seen the movie, Stand By Me? If you’re the parent of a male child, you MUST see that movie. It’s the finest portrayal of what the life of 12-year-old boys would be like if they were allowed to decide. The movie takes place in 1959, and in that year, I was the same … Read more

“Teen brain”

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Parent – “Why did you do that, you knew that was not allowed!” Child – “I don’t know why, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.” The one gender difference in brain development that most scientists agree on is that the prefrontal lobe, the part of our brain called the executive decision … Read more

Boys and self control

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One of the points that I have been making recently is that punishment doesn’t work for boys. OK, it may make sure that the boy does not do that particular thing again, but it doesn’t change over-all behavior. He’ll just find another way to engage with the world. Years ago, Jean Kerr, the wife of … Read more

Determination

boy competing in lego league

Some years ago, someone asked how hard it was for me to go back to graduate school at age 50. “Didn’t I find it difficult working with all of the smart younger students and didn’t I find it hard to keep up with them?” Actually, no. I found my doctoral program much easier to complete … Read more

Emotions and Boys

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When I talk to parents about the differences between boys and girls, it is easy to tell who has only daughters. Those parents are usually visibly shocked when I mention that boys are at least as emotional as girls and possibly more. The stereotype is that girls are more emotional than boys, but those of … Read more

“I’m TIRED!”

What does your child do all day in school? I’m a teacher, I visit schools all over the world, and what I almost always see is children sitting at desks for at least 30 to 45 minutes at a time. How long can you sit still? I’m typing this and I’m gently moving a bit … Read more

Sex Education – Let’s Get Real

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When I first went to university (a long time ago), I started in the nursing school. Nurses are amazing people and I totally respect what it takes to be a good nurse, but it wasn’t for me. So I switched my major to education, and became a science teacher. At that time, the medical students at … Read more

Who’s in charge here?

Several years ago, Ann-Marie Slaughter wrote an article for The Atlantic magazine entitled Why Women Still Can’t Have it All . She tells the story of what happened after she became the first woman director of policy planning at the State Department. She “had it all” as the saying goes. She was happily married, the mother … Read more

Pink or Blue?

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Some years ago when I taught a class in Human Growth and Development, there were five requirements for the students which involved paying attention to people at different stages of their lives. One of the class requirements was to go to a large department or big-box store, look at the toy aisles, and report on … Read more

Talking with your boy about “being different”

Has your child asked you about Caitlyn/Bruce Jenner yet? If he hasn’t, I can promise you he has been talking about that with his friends. In January, we discussed how your son knew he was a boy, and now we need to discuss the issue of transgendered individuals. All the evidence indicates that a disconnect … Read more